Some random thoughts

So last night I was thinking. Trying to figure out what was wrong. So nothing is wrong, but I did figure something out. My marriage has been stretched thin! Like it's a rubber band about to snap! Jay isn't saved, isn't a Christian. He told me, and I've been praying for him, well he's bothered by this. I can tell. It keeps him distracted because it is something he is battling with. And him battling w/ this is straining our marriage more!!! So I'm stressed over this. And his family really dislikes me. His parents are trying, and so am I, but to be around the rest of his family scares me so bad! Like I start to have a panic attack!!!!!! I really don't want to go this weekend to his grandma's. And if I tell Jay I'd rather stay home, they'll blame me for the kids and Jay not being there. If I stay home, more than likely Jay n the boys will too. But if I go I'm gonna have a panic attack!!!! I really don't know what to do about any of this! I'm just stressed!!!!