School

So I am going to start school! I'm super excited! I'm gonna go to LTC for pratcial nursing. I want to work either postpartum or in an ob office and help educate moms on breastfeeding! I am all about breastfeeding, but understand circumstances out of our control can prevent us from doing so. And some young moms are just not educated on the subject and I want to change that! So I go Wed. April 29th to take my compass test to see if I clep out of the prenursing classes. I really hope I do, but if I don't its cool! I'm excited!

Things I have thought about and come to realize

So I think a lot! Never stop! I've realized w/o God my life would be hell right now! Well it was and it was because I wasn't following God and wasn't trying to grow w/ God. I've realized since I've started back to church and started giving all my worries to God, and let his will be my life has improved so much! Somethings I still struggle with and am working on this. I have a hard time w/ routines, so I'm working on making a routine to reading my bible and writing in my prayer journal everyday. It's hard work! I have a friend that I love so much and that is having a hard time and I just wish she would realize what's wrong! She needs God in her life more! She's not a bad person or doing horrible or bad things, just doing her own thing and its catching up w/ her! I really pray for her a lot and want her to come w/ me to church one day or one night, I know she would love it if she just gave it a chance.

Ready for anything

So I feel like I am ready for anything now! I've been wanting to go back to school, and wasn't sure what I wanted to do, then was gonna put it on hold for Jay. So now I've decided I'm going. Soon! I decided LPN. And I want to work in post partum. When I had Jacks I wasn't sure what I was gonna do, rather bottle or breast. Well I went w/ breast and have been now for 8 months. I really think more moms should breast feed! It's natural, it's God's gift to moms to bond w/ their babies and provide for them! I love it and want to help others w/ this! So I am still also waiting to hear fromt he newborn nursery at the hospital, I applied for a tech postion on night shift, and if I get the job it'll be great for when I graduate and need a job! Well I'm still praying for it, and will continue to do so. I'm super excited and can't wait to start school!!!!

Somethings gotta give

So i'm giving it to God. I don't know what to do or what will happen, but God does. So why am I worried???!!! Doesn't make sense. So I'm done worrying! It will work out as long as I believe God will take care of us! AND I DO!!! I applied for a job at SFMC in the newborn nursery today, night shift so I will be home w/ the boys during the day and Jay at night, no child care fees. Jay went up to talk to someone we know and told em I applied and told them about me and she said well so far I'm at the top of the list! LOL. So I'm leaving it w/ God. He is in control!!! Pray for us! Thanks!!!!

I don't know what to do!

We figured our bills and what we make and we'll be like 200 short for bills! So I tried to stay at home and now things aren't working out. So now I have to figure out what to do. Why does it have to be so hard???

Some random thoughts

So last night I was thinking. Trying to figure out what was wrong. So nothing is wrong, but I did figure something out. My marriage has been stretched thin! Like it's a rubber band about to snap! Jay isn't saved, isn't a Christian. He told me, and I've been praying for him, well he's bothered by this. I can tell. It keeps him distracted because it is something he is battling with. And him battling w/ this is straining our marriage more!!! So I'm stressed over this. And his family really dislikes me. His parents are trying, and so am I, but to be around the rest of his family scares me so bad! Like I start to have a panic attack!!!!!! I really don't want to go this weekend to his grandma's. And if I tell Jay I'd rather stay home, they'll blame me for the kids and Jay not being there. If I stay home, more than likely Jay n the boys will too. But if I go I'm gonna have a panic attack!!!! I really don't know what to do about any of this! I'm just stressed!!!!

Jacks eye appointment

So Jacks appointment was yesterday. So glad its over I'm so not as stressed. Not even sure why I was stressed. So he said his left eye turns in when he foucues up close, but when focusing far away its normal. So for the next 8 weeks for 2 hours a day we have to put a patch on his good eye to make him use his bad eye, and hopefully it will improve by his next appointment in July, if not we will do surgery. He's guessing we'll have to do surgery w/ a family history of this problem. Where Jon had to have muscle surgery on both eyes his were way worse than Jacks, but he said it could go either way. So I'm better now! Just waiting to put the patch on this Sunday after his eyes get back to normal from being dilated. It's gonna be fun keeping a patch on a 7 mo for 2 hours!!!! LOL. Wish me luck!